If you’re already engaged but haven’t chosen the ring yet, shopping for it together can be a lovely part of the experience. Perhaps the proposal came with a temporary ring, or you always planned to choose one afterwards. Either way, there’s no need to rush.
You don’t need to know exactly what you want before you start. It helps to agree what you’ll spend when choosing an engagement ring and be open to trying something different, even if you already have a favourite saved on your phone.
Agree your engagement ring budget before browsing
Talk about the budget at home, before you start trying on rings. Agree an amount you’d both feel comfortable spending, who is paying and whether that money is separate from any wedding plans.
Make sure you’re looking at the price of the complete ring, rather than the diamond alone. Include any engraving or other extras in the amount you’ve agreed.
A spending limit does not have to become a target. If the ring you love costs less, there’s no need to keep looking for a more expensive version of it.
Build a small shortlist of engagement ring styles
Browse a few different styles before settling on one. Lily Arkwright’s engagement rings for women include solitaire, halo and trilogy designs, with different stone shapes and metal colours to compare.
Save two or three rings you’d like to try on and talk about what you like in each. You may find the same details keep coming up: yellow gold, a plain band or a more substantial setting. They don’t all have to end up in one ring.
Before saving a photograph, take another look at the ring itself. Sometimes it’s the sleeve, manicure or lighting that makes the whole picture so appealing.
What if you prefer different ring styles?
If one of you likes a ring and the other doesn’t, explain which detail you’re unsure about. “I imagined a smaller stone” starts a conversation; “That’s too much” can feel like a judgement.
Once you’ve agreed the budget, let the person who’ll wear the ring have the final say on its look and feel. There’s little point compromising on a design neither of you loves. You can research the options and ask questions together, even if you have different favourites.
Enjoy ring shopping without rushing the decision
Choose a day when you won’t have to rush. One unhurried visit followed by lunch gives you time to talk about what you’ve seen, and it can be more enjoyable than squeezing several shops into an afternoon.
Tell the jeweller you’re already engaged and choosing an engagement ring together. Before travelling, check that the styles you want to try will be there, and let them know if you’re just starting to look. If you’re booking a video appointment, ask which rings they can show you and whether there’s an option to try them in person.
Give yourselves time to try a few designs before deciding which you prefer. If your partner is trying them on, let them say what they think before you offer your opinion.
A ring you loved online might not feel right on your hand. You may realise you prefer a different shape or a simpler setting. Tell your partner what you’ve noticed so you can look for something closer to what you want.
There’s no need to order on the day. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon, then come back to the decision when you’ve had time to think.
If you’re still choosing between two rings, arrange to see those again. If neither feels right, use what you’ve learned to choose a few others. That way, the next visit builds on the first without starting the whole search again.
What to do with your temporary engagement ring
You may be more attached to the temporary ring than you expected. It was part of the proposal, after all, and choosing another one doesn’t make it any less special.
You could keep it with a photograph from the proposal, wear it separately or decide it’s the ring you want to keep wearing. If you’d like to wear it regularly, check what it’s made from and ask a jeweller whether it’s suitable for everyday use.
The next ring doesn’t need to look like the first. You might keep one as a reminder of the proposal and choose something quite different to wear every day.
Order when you are ready, not when people expect a photograph
When people keep asking to see the ring, it can feel as though you should have bought it already. “We’re choosing an engagement ring together and taking our time” is a perfectly good answer. If you do want it for an engagement party or another occasion, check the delivery date for your chosen design before ordering.
Get the full price, ring size, design details and expected delivery date in writing. Check the resizing, return and exchange terms for your order, and ask whether adding an engraving would change any of them.
Once the ring is ordered, you can close the shopping tabs and look forward to its arrival. You might mark the occasion with dinner or simply open the box together at home. It’s a moment you can share, even if only one of you will wear the ring.
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