40 plus blogger Claire Kenny writes regularly for HN Magazine. She also hosts a weekly #SoloSaturday Insta Live which is helping guests reframe time alone as a positive experience.
I remember having the realisation that my days of dreading Saturday nights were finally over. Happily cooking myself supper, it occurred to me that I now actively looked forward to my ‘solo Saturdays’, especially if I’d been busy all week. Although for many people it’s the big night out, for me it’s my precious time to relax and recharge. I cook something lovely, watch what I want on the TV and enjoy my home.
Bliss.
As a blogger, I’d been thinking about how I could share the journey I’d been on with others, and I had a lightbulb moment: I’d host a weekly #SoloSaturday Instagram live!
The premise is simple; to provide a friendly, welcoming space for anyone who wants to enjoy a bit of a social connection and a giggle on a Saturday night. I’ve now hosted eight and absolutely love them.
A wonderfully diverse range of people tend to take part, including those who read my blogs and want to connect with likeminded people. Although lots of my guests are solo, I get whole families joining in too, and some people listen in at work. I love the fact that you can’t predict where the conversation will go as it’s steered largely by what my guests share in the comments. It can be extremely random, but we also discuss everything from health and wellness, running, pets, food and drink and anything we want to celebrate that week. I have guests on sometimes too, most recently the founders of Recovery Runners, the Leeds and Bristol-based running group which welcomes those who use running as part of recovery from addiction or to maintain their mental health.
It’s a stark contrast to how I used to spend my Saturday nights. In my early 40s I spent many a Saturday evening on excruciating Match and Tinder dates, but after a few years I stopped looking online. It was the right thing to do but it left a gap as the alternative was being the only single person in a sea of couples at dinner, or a bar crawl. Neither appealed.
After a long period of time feeling sad and resentful about my ‘aloneness’, I gradually identified that what was missing was not necessarily ‘relationship-shaped’ and decided to do everything I could to embrace my single status and build a life I loved. I’ve shared a lot of my journey on my blog, but it’s writing about spending time alone that always strikes a chord with many of my readers.
One of the most heart-warming messages I’ve had came straight after my first #SoloSaturday had finished. It was from a woman who’d booked a wreath making class in the run up to the festive season. Her friend was no longer able to make it and she was going to cancel because she was nervous, even though she’d loved attending the previous year. But connecting with other likeminded people had given her the strength to go alone.
Many of us miss out on what life has to offer because society hasn’t learned to differentiate between alone and lonely. Or highlight that there’s actually no shame in either. That’s exactly what #SoloSaturday is helping to do.
Claire can be found on Facebook and Instagram as My40pluslife.me and you can join her #SoloSaturday Instagram live between 7 and 8pm every Saturday.
