Monogamy is the practice of having a single partner at a time. Its roots stretch back thousands of years, and its evolution reflects the way society, culture and, in many cases, religion, have combined to make this relationship construct the ‘norm’.
But how has monogamy become the go-to for so many of us? Understanding its history can potentially provide couples with a deeper context for their own relationships and societal expectations.
Ancient roots
Monogamy has deep historical roots, with its origins traceable to ancient civilisations. In fact, back in 2011, one paper revealed it dates to early humans. It’s believed that hominids moved towards monogamy around 3.5 million years ago.
In Ancient Greece, it was a social construct. Greek men often had concubines and engaged in extramarital affairs, while women were expected to remain loyal to their husbands. This gendered approach to monogamy highlights what were the standard societal norms of the time rather than a universal commitment to exclusivity.
Ancient Rome, on the other hand, placed a stronger emphasis on monogamy within marriage. This was, however, primarily for practical reasons. Roman society valued legitimate heirs to maintain family lineage and property rights. Despite this, extramarital relationships were still relatively common among men.
The legal and social structures of these ancient cultures laid the groundwork for monogamous practices, but true romantic exclusivity was not yet a typical approach to relationships.
It’s important to note that, while some ancient civilisations shifted towards exclusivity, others were steadfastly polyamorous. There’s evidence of non-monogamous practices in ancient Mesopotamia (around 2350 BCE).
Different cultures have approached monogamy in a range of ways too. For instance, in many indigenous cultures, polyamorous relationships were common and socially accepted. These cultural variations demonstrate that it is not a universally inherent human practice but rather one influenced by specific social and historical contexts.
The influence of religion and society
Religious institutions have played a significant role in promoting monogamy. Christianity, in particular, has been a major advocate for monogamous relationships. The teachings of the New Testament emphasised the sanctity of marriage between one man and one woman, positioning monogamy as a moral imperative. This religious endorsement influenced Western societies, embedding monogamy deeply within their cultural setup.
Social structures also played a part. Inheritance and property rights required a clear lineage, and monogamous relationships could provide this. Monogamy between opposite-sex couples ensured legitimate heirs, simplifying the transfer of property and wealth.
Modern perspectives
Today, views on monogamy are diverse and changing. Society and culture have evolved, and the reasons for exclusivity in relationships aren’t what they were when land, lineage, and inheritance were involved.
Human relationships are far more complex, influenced by emotional, social, and cultural factors. Modern perspectives on monogamy recognise its various forms, from strict exclusivity to more flexible arrangements such as consensual non-monogamy and polyamory.
There’s the idea that monogamy is a choice, rather than a necessity, reflecting a broader acceptance of diverse relationship structures. There are calls for introducing polyamory into UK law and the UK Polyamory Association was launched in the last few years. These factors acknowledge that while monogamy may suit many, it is not the only form of relationship out there.
While polyamory may not be recognised by law yet, there is legal guidance available from family law solicitors for various partnership arrangements. It may be worth seeking advice if you need information about the legalities of your relationship.
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